Rangers: Players insist no amateurs could hang with big boys

10/08/99
By Bridget Wentworth
STAFF WRITER

Hold it right there, Hollywood, say the Rangers. Let's get realistic. Last week's release of the movie "Mystery, Alaska," in which a group of fleet-footed no-names from the North take on the New York Rangers -- and hold their own -- has provided some interesting fodder for discussion among the real Rangers. It's not that the players have any real beef with the movie as a film about hockey. They all feel the sport is portrayed in a good light, that the players from Mystery, while occasionally engaging in loutish behavior, are admirable, and that it is a generally entertaining diversion.

But they really want to make one thing very, very clear. There does not exist an amateur team in the world that could hang in with the big boys. "In a real-life game, they would be lucky to get a shot on us," Mike Knuble said. "There's no way. We challenge anyone in the tri-state area."

Not even a small chance?

"Maybe 15 years ago, but now, with the way the league is, a world league, all the best players from every country here, no, it wouldn't happen," Adam Graves said. "Twenty years ago, when you didn't have all the best players from every country, no matter where it was, then maybe. Now, it's a very big stretch."

Too big to even be considered.

"If they could (compete), then they'd be playing in the NHL," John MacLean said. "I know there's a lot of good hockey players, and you could ask some of my buddies back home, the guys that watch us on TV, and they'd say, 'Oh, yeah, we could play.' But I don't think it's happening. They'd have to train for it for at least a year, and even then I just can't see it. A lot of guys skate well, but they couldn't carry the puck in a basket."

Eric Lacroix pointed out that some of his friends have tried skating with the Rangers when some members of the team get together for informal workouts over the summer. It's not pretty. "These guys play in men's leagues, they are decent caliber players," Lacroix said. "But then they come play with you in the summer, and they don't know what it's like to go around Brian Leetch, or go in the corner with Gravy (Adam Graves). Then they realize, 'Holy cow, these guys are good. I am far from that.' " Lacroix has an interesting connection with "Mystery, Alaska." His brother Marty, 29, is in the movie, and plays No. 3 for the Rangers. Having gone to California to do what Lacroix calls "the L.A. thing" a couple of years ago, Marty hooked up with the producer of the film's hockey scenes, a guy he used to play with in the Islanders' system. Sitting in a theater and seeing his brother's face larger than life on the screen was strange for Lacroix, but so was contemplating the fact that he actually is a Ranger while watching a movie about the Rangers. "I saw it with my wife, and she was laughing," Lacroix said. "She said, 'My God, you play for that team.' That was really funny."

Shockingly enough, as of yesterday, the Rangers' resident movie maven, Darren Langdon, had yet to see the film and didn't want to hear one word about it for fear of ruining any surprises. He had already heard, however, that he himself is portrayed rather gloriously in the film, and it's true -- Langdon is the only actual Ranger to appear in the movie. "I've got to be scoring, right?" he joked.

Not quite.

There is a scene in which the players from Mystery watch a Rangers game on television, and Langdon is shown brawling with Toronto Maple Leafs enforcer Tie Domi in a toe-to-toe bout, a real fight that took place several years ago when the Leafs came to town. The amateurs look at each other in wide-eyed terror, and one of them says, "We're playing these guys?" Langdon, of course, was glad to lend his mastery of fisticuffs to the art of movie-making, although he wonders how he'll feel when he sees himself on the big screen. "I guess when I see it, it's going to be weird," Langdon said. "That's never happened before. People at home will be giving it to me for sure. The fight's with Domi at the Garden? That was one of the good ones I had, a long one, too."

Langdon's tussle with Domi was one of the few true-to-life aspects of the movie, but the Rangers fully realize that writers and producers are free to take artistic license with just about anything. They were especially tickled at the movie's central concept -- that the Rangers, after some legal wrangling between Mystery and the NHL Players' Association, are forced to go Alaska to play an exhibition game against a group of men from a town made famous by Sports Illustrated for their legendary speed.

In January. Outside, no less.

"We wouldn't do that. If that was the All-Star break, no way," Knuble said, rather vehemently. "It would never happen. No way, whether the courts got involved or not. There's no way we're going to Alaska." But, as Jason Doig put it simply, "Who are we kidding? It's a movie." Exactly, and if anyone doubts that, they need only spot the person wearing No. 11 for the movie's version of the Rangers. He looks about 20 years old, he's small, and even though the captain's "C" is sewn onto his left shoulder, the name on the back is Jackson. That alone proves that "Mystery, Alaska" is pure fantasy.